Tuesday, 3 January 2012

New Years' Resolution

Dear Internet,

As you're probably aware it is the start of that long-awaited, long anticipated, slightly feared and much celebrated year 2012. (Which is to be accompanied by that dreadful Olympic logo that has been compared to among other things a broken swastika and even more accurately: the incestuous and paedophillic act of Lisa Simpson giving her brother Bart a you-know-what job...)

Well, between you and me, 2012 is also the year my journalling goes online. :) As a matter of fact, I tried to create an account afresh but it appears I've already got one alongside a blog called "SuperDuperWill", well I haven't used that word in a good two years but I like it quite a lot so Why Not??

Now before I look to the future (because obviously it hasn't happened yet) I'm going to peer into the recent past:

Really, it's quite curious that 2011 was so eventful when there has been a year-long build-up to this new one, but there you go. It was notable for many things: the notorious UK riots (notorious for us because nobody can find a reason that can justify them), the actually-important revolutions that took place all over the world but particularly on Twitter, and the Royal Wedding which was a riot of patriotism and flags and tacky souvenirs.

I'm sure that you, Internet, take this riot-ridden year as proof of the forthcoming apocalypse. Now I don't know about that but I do know that Nando's in Nottingham got burned down and for a student from a sleepy village without shop or pub that is pretty brutal.

2011 was also eventful in my own life, asides from the major world events. I turned 18 (and had a wonderful surprise birthday party which I shall tell you about someday, maybe on my next birthday which will no doubt be a lot less awesome), I finished my A-levels with a mediocre but satisfying ABCC, I got a scholarship to my first-choice university (Aberystwyth in Wales, it wasn't very hard, haha), I got my first job (Payplan - debt management - free fruit at lunch - YAY!) and I moved out of my home and INTO UNI HALLS.

The beauty that is Aberystwyth, Ceredigion, Wales:

Never fear, Internet, I'm not about to list everything interesting that has EVER happened to me EVER because I know that would be, like, proper boring, yo.

BUT, as I said, 2011 was a big year for me. FREEDOM. I think that sums up the year in one word. Not just for me but for Egypt and Libya (supposedly) and all those other revolutious (not a real word) places out there.

Here's a quick list of other BIG THINGS that happened in 2011 which I nearly forgot to include:

- Osama bin Laden (still confusing him with the American president? I am.) got shot and killed in his weird little hideaway.
- The "End of The World" or the end of "The News of the World" which graciously bowed out with a sweet "Thank you & Goodbye" which almost made you forget the obscene levels of phone-hacking this scandalous organisation of gangstas- I mean journalists- committed seemingly unashamedly. "Sorry & Goodbye" might have been more appropriate if you ask me, but I guess if they knew what was and what was not appropriate they wouldn't have got into that mess.
- The "End of The World" Part 2- you know, those bible-bashing bastards that shout at everyone for sinning/being gay/not supporting slavery/not stoning adulterous wives to death or agreeing with some of the more ridiculous lifestyle rules in the Old testament. A significantly large number of these in America paid out a significantly large amount to Atheist sinners who promised to look after their dogs when they ascended into Heaven and left everyone else either to die in the apocalypse or just die in sin. (Something you should know: I'm loosely Christian and will defend Christianity where it ought to be defended but I can't stand those who take every word literally and turn the religion into "a hotbed of moral... turpentine" to quote Miss Amber Von Tussle from that most-wonderful movie, "Hairspray".)
- Moving on: Utoya, yes, the island that sounds like a cross between Utopia and Michael Jackson's sister, was home to one of the most saddening and shocking mass shootings to take place in the history of peaceful Norway.
- And let's not forget the Japanese Earthquake and Nuclear Crisis which saw radioactive gas released at Fukushima nuclear plant as well as many other leaked toxic chemicals which could cause lots and lots of cancer and Hiroshima-type babies and other BAD THINGS. Poignantly, the engineers working to clean up the mess have effectively sacrificed their lives as all will surely die young as a result of the radiation. :'(
- Occupy Wall Street- another pointless "protest" which has spread to St Pauls. Nobody really knows what they're protesting other than the Evils of Capitalism, the ideology that someone should be able to get rich and garner more wealth than others by working really really hard and earning it. Don't hate on me for saying that, but it's how the system works. It seems that these protesters are "communists" who think everything should be given to them free because they deserve it- I'm sorry but communism is illogical. I honestly don't think they can represent the people of this country either, because those of us genuinely affected by the Recession cannot afford to dwindle about in tents in the most expensive part of the country- Seriously, I went to London recently and had to pay, like, £4 for a sandwich!!! What the- I don't even...

Anyway, now I've recapped last year I'll conclude by wishing you a Happy New Year and hoping your resolutions go to plan as well. It is with combined sadness and relief that we enter January and return slightly reluctantly to work/study/whatever. On the bright side, no more annoying relatives to endure who think that apparently in order to be civilised you should be able to engage sufficiently in any conversation about interior design and furnishing and that somehow it’s a true sign of cultural ignorance to not know what colour “eggshell” is or that “ogre” is like “ochre but green, DUH”... So let's celebrate going back to the office/classroom/lecture halls and spending our spare time with friends and doing things we enjoy and hanging out in places we like as opposed to playing A LOT of charades and cards and going on long, strenuous walks in inappropriate footwear...

Over and Out,

"SuperDuperWill" xx

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